


THE PACKAGE

by The_Fifth_Marauder



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, One Shot, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 20:06:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30077610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fifth_Marauder/pseuds/The_Fifth_Marauder
Summary: “The problem with this shithole, is I’m surrounded by thieving bitches.”Boomer receives a special package, but it’s stolen before she has the chance to open it. Total mayhem ensues as time is against her to find the culprit responsible, maybe punch some tits in, and retrieve the package before end of day lock up, or it will be lost forever. What’s in the package, and can she locate it in time?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	THE PACKAGE

Daz looked at the sign above the entrance and sighed. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he muttered to himself as he shifted the package he had earlier stuffed down the front of his jeans, the bulk covered by his faded black baggy singlet. He entered through the double doors to Wentworth Corrections Centre and presented himself at the reception desk.

“Yeah, I’m Daz, er... Darren, and I’m here to see Sue Jenkins.”

“Sign in and put any personal effects into the tray provided for inspection,” Officer Webb directed.

“Me what?”

Peta Webb rolled her eyes. _Another clueless idiot_. “All personal items must be checked through the x-ray machine and stored in a locker. You’ll receive them back when you leave.”

“Right. Gotcha.” Beads of sweat formed on Daz’s forehead as he dumped his keys, wallet, smokes and lighter into the plastic tray and handed them over to a different officer.

_What the hell was I thinkin’, lettin’ Sue talk me into this crazy idea?”_

“Kindly step through the body scanner,” Peta prompted him once more.

Daz stepped through the machine, expecting to set off the alarm. He closed his eyes, waiting for what felt like an eternity, eavesdropping on the conversations going on around him.

“My best friend let me down last night, big time,” Linda Miles was heard complaining out loud to Peta.

“There’s no loyalty these days. Everyone wants to screw you over in return.”

“And what’s worse, is I’m rostered on late and unable to replace him at such short notice.”

“What are you going to do?”

Linda scoffed. “Dropkick his sorry arse.”

“Ouch! Seems harsh.”

“No, what’s harsh is that I’ll have to check the scrawny-looking feral who just walked through security.”

“That scanner’s been playing up all day. The governor assured me the maintenance guy will be here to repair it shortly.”

“Fat load of good that will do me now.” Linda gestured for Daz to stand on the spot marked with a cross.

“Are you talking to me?” Daz asked her.

“No, I’m speaking to the Queen – she’s standing directly behind you.” Linda approached him with a handheld wand, preparing herself mentally for his body search.

 _Looks like I’m going to have to distract her with me charm, which Sue reckons is irresistible._ Daz smiled, revealing his stained teeth. “G’day, love.”

His putrid breath stopped Linda in her tracks, and when she asked him to lift his arms outwards, the sour body odour which wafted from his hairy armpits forced her to turn away, dry-retching into her hand. “There’s this wonderful invention called a shower. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?” Linda asked him.

Daz sniffed his own armpit, offended by her accusation at his lack of personal hygiene. “I had one last week.”

“Just _go_ ,” Linda motioned him through without bothering to check him first.

_Yep, that ol’ Daz charm wins them over every single time._

Daz followed Linda through to the visitor’s centre and was ordered to sit at the back of the room where she couldn’t smell his odour. “Sue!” He waved at Boomer as she strolled through the entrance, looking around to see who her visitor was. “Over here!”

“Bloody hell, Daz, what are you doin’ here?” Boomer asked as she joined him at the table. “Let me guess, you’ve finally dumped me tramp of a sister?”

“Nah, better. I did it. Just like you asked me to.”

“Did what?” Boomer studied his dopey expression, hoping for a clue. “Oh, fuck me! You didn’t?”

“Yep,” Daz nodded. “Are you proud of me, or what?”

“What the fuck were you thinkin’?”

The anger in Boomer’s voice stung him. _Geez, are all the women in this joint extra sensitive today?_ “I thought you’d be pleased, considering you’ve been pesterin’ me for months!”

“I am, but you could’ve warned me first! Give me time to work out a plan to get it past the screws.”

“Aww, shit. I never thought of that. What are you gonna do?”

“I dunno. They’ll search me for sure, aye?”

“You mean you’ll get caught?” Daz said, in a panic. “Cause they’ll know it was me who brought it in!”

“Yeah, whose fault is that?”

“I’m sorry, Sue. I didn’t think.”

“Don’t just sit there like a dumb shit, pass it under the table.” Boomer took a quick glance around to make sure they didn’t have an audience, before shoving the package down her pants. “And how many times do I need to tell you, Daz, you’ve gotta have a brain to think.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You always was the smart one.”

“Okay, I’ve got an idea. Call for a screw.” Boomer hunched over the table and let out a long groan.

“What for?”

“Just bloody do it!” She whispered under her breath. “And tell ‘em I’m crook in the guts.” Boomer let out another exaggerated groan, louder this time to capture everyone’s attention.

Daz held his hand up high, and Linda Miles reluctantly approached the table. “What’s going on, Jenkins?”

“Sue’s been complainin’ of an upset stomach since she came in here,” Daz replied on her behalf.

“Did I ask you?”

“It’s me gut, Miss Miles. I think it’s somethin’ I ate for lunch.” Boomer slowly rose from the table and doubled over, with both her arms wrapped around her stomach to prevent the package dropping down the inside of her tracksuit pants.

“With all the shit you eat, I’m not surprised. And stand up straight when I’m talking to you.”

“I can’t, it really hurts. Fair dinkum, Miss Miles, I’m dyin’ here!”

“Then make it quick, and quit wasting my time,” Linda replied sarcastically. “I have more important things to attend to, like checking out the gee-gees running in the sixth race at Caulfield.” Boomer shoved two fingers to the back of her throat and brought up the contents of her lunch over Linda’s shoes. “Oh great,” Linda muttered under her breath. “C’mon, off to Medical.” Linda squirmed at the mess on her shoes, and held Boomer by the elbow while maintaining a safe distance, guiding her out of the visitor’s centre.

“Told you I was crook, aye?” Luck was on Boomer’s side, when she spotted Ruby walking towards them, and purposely leaned her weight against Linda, faking another loud groan.

“Geez, you weigh a tonne, Jenkins!” Linda said, struggling to hold Boomer up. “Mitchell!” Linda barked at her. “Give me a hand taking Jenkins to Medical.”

“What’s happened?” Ruby asked with concern as she draped Boomer’s left arm around her shoulder for support.

“Food poisoning,” Boomer said as she winked at her.

Ruby twigged Boomer was up to mischief. “Yeah, the food here will kill you if you’re not careful.” She assisted Linda along the long corridor and waited patiently by the main entrance to Medical, hoping no one could see the package which Boomer had stuffed into her pocket minutes earlier. Ruby smiled to herself. _Why do I feel like Boomer’s dragging me into another one of her foolish adventures?_

“What are you waiting for, Mitchell?” Linda asked her. “My eternal gratitude? Or a hand-written thank you note?”

“I wanted to make sure Boomer’s okay.”

“Tell someone who cares.”

“I’ll see you later, Booms,” Ruby called out to her. “Get better soon!”

An hour later Boomer appeared at the entrance to Ruby’s cell to find her lying comfortably on her bed, flicking through one of her boxing magazines. “The nurse wanted to give me an injection and stay in Medical overnight for observation. Told her I like me own bed and there’s no fuckin’ way I gonna be her pin cushion.”

“You’re kidding? That was the worst performance ever! I’m surprised Smiles bought it.”

“Get stuffed, I had those bitches easily fooled. Now hand over the goods.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’d better be shittin’ me, aye?”

Ruby sat up and retrieved the brown paper package from under her pillow. “You mean this?” Boomer’s eyes lit up, and she snatched the package away from Ruby. “Whatever that is, it’s got you drooling like a baby. But heads up, Smiles is on the warpath so you’d better not open it now, or you’ll get caught.”

“Then I’ll hide it someplace safe until the end of the day lock up.” Boomer disappeared out of the cell with the package tucked inside her hoodie.

“Yeah, thanks for looking after it for me, Ruby. Sure, Booms, no problem!” Ruby called out to her. It was then she remembered she forgot to ask what was in the package.

**** **** ****

Ruby laid back upon the bench press, her hands gripped firmly around the barbell, and carefully lifted it away from her body, the straining muscles in her arms protesting against the increase in weight. What she needed was a spotter, but with privacy being a luxury in prison, she reasoned it was a small price to pay for the time spent alone in the tiny indoor gym. The door swung open and slammed hard against the wall, a hyperventilating Boomer now standing at the entrance looking edgy, as if a judge had just handed her a death sentence.

“Booms? What’s wrong?” Ruby placed the barbell back on its support frame and sat upright. “Are you okay?”

“Quick!” Boomer pulled Ruby up by both hands from the bench. “It’s a fuckin’ disaster! I need your help ‘cause you’re the only person who can back me up.”

“What’s happened? Has someone threatened you?”

“Worse! Someone stole me package!”

“Is that all? I thought it was something important.”

“It _is_ important. If I don’t get it back before lock up tonight, I’ll never see it again!”

“Didn’t you hide it?”

“I did, but the problem with this shithole, is I’m surrounded by thieving bitches!”

“Yeah, no honour amongst thieves, huh?” Ruby giggled as she threw on her hoodie and zipped it up. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Well, duh! Help me get the package back.”

“On the condition that you tell me what it is?”

“I can’t say.”

“You want me to help, yet you won’t tell me what’s in the package?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I don’t _want_ to trust you – if you know what I mean.”

“No. That makes zero sense.”

“Trust me, it’s something special.”

“Okay, have you considered asking around?”

“Gee, why didn’t I think of that?” Boomer replied. “And let on to the whole prison that it’s valuable? Are you nuts?”

“Here’s an idea, why don’t you speak to Allie? Being top dog, she’ll be able to get it back for you with minimum fuss.”

“If Allie gets involved, then everyone will realise the importance and will be out to find the package. What I need to do is ask the usual suspects, but not let on the reason.”

“Yeah? Good luck with that.” Ruby headed out of the gym, but Boomer pulled her back inside. “Hey, this is your mess, and I don’t want to get involved.”

“You are, unless you wanna scrape yourself up off the floor?”

“For real? Booms, you’re forgetting I’m one of the few here who can kick your sorry arse.” Ruby sighed. “I suppose I can give you a couple of hours, because it’s not like I have anywhere else to be at present. Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid which will result in us spending the night in the slot?”

“As if,” Boomer snorted. “What I need to figure out is who to thump first?”

“How about we start in the exercise yard?” Ruby suggested. “Zaina and her crew have been hanging out there since taking over the contraband trade after Kosta’s death.”

“Good idea. And if she doesn’t give me back me package, she’ll be playin’ the harp with Kosta.”

“You can’t start off by threatening her,” Ruby scolded her as they entered the exercise yard to find Zaina’s crew playing a heated game of basketball. Zaina had taken possession of the ball after the opposition scored a goal. “Just remember to play nice.”

“Play nice,” Boomer repeated, giving her the thumbs up. “Okay, I can do that. Oi, slag, got a minute?”

Zaina jogged over, bouncing the ball with her right hand. “I’ve told you already, Lou took my mobile, so quit asking.”

“Nah, it’s not that. Have you found anything recently which could be considered out of place in this joint?”

“Everything’s out of place in this joint. You’ll need to be a little more specific.”

“I can’t say.”

“How do I know if I’ve seen it, if I don’t know what you’re looking for?”

“What? Are you tryin’ to be a smart alec?” Boomer pushed Zaina to the ground, forcing her to drop the ball. “Look, if you’ve got it, give it back or I’ll punch your tits in.”

“Listen up, dumbarse, why don’t you just tell me what the hell you’re on about, so I can deny all knowledge and go back to playing basketball?”

“Dumbarse?” Boomer felt her temper rise and scooped up the basketball, throwing it with all her strength at Zaina, the ball colliding with her nose and sending small droplets of blood across her face.

“You moron!” Zaina cried out, as she lifted herself off the ground and wiped away the blood with her sleeve. “You’ve broken my nose!”

“It’s your fault for callin’ me a dumbarse!”

“Break it up, ladies,” Jake Stewart said as he rushed over and stood between them, holding his arms out wide to prevent any fighting. “Who threw the first punch?”

“It’s not a fight,” Boomer corrected him. “I threw the ball at Zaina and she forgot to duck.”

“Since when do you duck in basketball, dipshit?” Zaina held her nose upwards, the blood dribbling over her chin and staining her white t-shirt.

“Basketball?” Boomer protested her innocence to Jake. “Honest mistake, Mr Stewart, I thought she said we were playin’ dodgeball. Right, Ruby?”

“Yeah,” Ruby reluctantly agreed, cursing herself for tagging along, now convinced they would be in the slot by the end of the day. “Dodgeball.”

“Jenkins, get back inside before I slot you,” Jake warned her, as he assisted Zaina off the basketball court to Medical.

“Well, that’s just great. Who else can I annoy?” Boomer asked Ruby.

“What about Lou Kelly?”

“Do I have to? I need all me fingers for scratchin’ me arse and shit like that.”

“She won’t try anything because I’ll be your backup.”

“I’ve got a better idea. How about we belt it out of Marie? That bitch will be able to tell us if Lou or any of her crew are up to somethin’. We can pay her a social visit over dinner and make her choke on her meal if she refuses to talk.”

Boomer barged through the dining room door like a woman on an important mission and made a beeline to where Marie sat with the rest of Lou’s crew. She glared them down until they got the hint and left to find another table to eat their dinner in peace. “See? Weak as piss without their leader,” Boomer gloated out loud to Ruby. Marie was the last to rise from the table. “Where do you think your goin’? Sit down, blondie, we want a word.”

“You could ask nicely,” Marie said, as they sat either side of her.

Boomer snorted loudly. “Or I could knock the stuffing outta you.”

Marie weighed up the threat, wondering if Boomer would follow through in the dining room with the officers present, and decided not to poke the sleeping bear. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“What have you done with it?” Boomer growled at her.

Marie turned to Ruby, confused by the lack of information. “Am I supposed to know what she means?”

“Boomer has misplaced something personal and was hoping you would know if anyone in your unit has found it?”

“Ahh, I see.” Marie smiled to herself. “Poor ol’ Boomer is hesitant in approaching Lou because she fears her.”

“I’m not afraid of Lou.”

“So it’s information you’re after. What’s it worth to me if I help get this personal item back?”

Boomer picked up the chicken schnitzel from Marie’s plate and dropped it to the floor, squashing it with the heel of her shoe. “How about not having to worry about finishing your dinner through a straw?”

“That will be a bit of a challenge, given there’s nothing left on my plate. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. When did you lose the package?”

“Today, after lunch.”

“Then it can’t be Lou,” Marie pointed out. “She’s still in the slot for bashing Ann Reynolds.”

Boomer looked at Ruby, a mixture of relief for not having to confront Lou, and a touch of guilt at being involved with Ann’s attack. “Oh, yeah, we forgot.”

“What about the freak?” Ruby fired back. “I haven’t seen her around today.”

“Her name is Kath Maxwell, and she’s been with Dr Miller most of the afternoon. In fact, there she is walking through the door, now.” They watched with curiosity as Joan headed over to the bain-marie and handpicked each item, examining and sniffing each one carefully, before placing them on the tray. Joan looked over at Marie, who shook her head as a warning not to venture over, and opted instead to join Lou’s displaced crew at a different table.

“Yeah, whatever,” Boomer said. “She’s still a freak.”

Marie focused her attention back on Boomer. “This package you’re referring to, if I help you get it back, I want a guarantee you’ll leave Kath alone.”

“You’d better not be holdin’ out on me.”

“I can assure you that’s not the case. Do we have a deal?”

“Deal,” Ruby replied before Boomer could object.

“What the fuck?” Boomer pulled Ruby aside away from the table. “No fuckin’ way! It’s Kath... er, the freak!”

“Do you want the package, or not?”

“Yeah, good point. Besides, she said nothin’ about teachin’ Ferguson a lesson, only Kath.” Boomer approached Marie once more. “Deal. But remember, if you’re pulling a fast one...” She pursed her lips and imitated slurping noises.

“I get the hint. Here’s a freebie to get you started. I’ve been told that Tina and her crew were transferred back from J Block this morning. Why don’t you ask her?”

“She has? Why didn’t you say so sooner? C’mon, Ruby, let’s scram. The air around this table stinks of a top dog has-been.”

“What about dinner? I’m starving.” Ruby asked as they left the dining room.

“No time for food. We need to pay Tina a visit and smash it out of her. But first, I see someone else who may help us. Oi, Juice!” Boomer shouted. Juice waited in the corridor for them to catch up. “I heard you were back on the block with the rest of the scrags.”

Juice removed the towel from around her neck to uncover the writing pad attached to a lanyard underneath. It read: _Fuck off_ in big red letters.

“Did she just tell me to fuck off?” Boomer asked Ruby.

“It appears so. Personally, I’m impressed she knows how to spell.”

“I’ll give you fuck off. How about I rip your fuckin’ tongue out?” Juice looked at her like she was the village idiot. “Oh, yeah. Well, what if I cut your fingers off, aye? What do you say to that? Ha! That will teach you!” Boomer said, spraying her with saliva.

Juice wiped the spittle off her face and flipped the page over on her writing pad. This time it read: _I’m not fucking deaf!_

“You will be if you don’t return me package, aye? Where did you hide it?”

“Upmyarse,” Juice replied with difficulty.

“What did she say?” Boomer asked Ruby, who shrugged in reply.

Juice jotted down some words and held up the writing pad for Boomer to see. _Lick my pussy juice!_ She gave them both a one-finger salute and continued her trek along the corridor towards the shower block.

Ruby laughed. “That went well.”

“She’s as dumb as dogshit, anyway. Where were we?” Boomer asked herself. “That’s right, I was going to smash Tina to a pulp.”

“Booms! Remember, the key word is subtle,” Ruby pleaded with her. “You definitely don’t want to raise her suspicions, because she will destroy the package purely out of spite.”

“Good thinking,” Boomer said as she entered the communal area of H4. “Hey, Tina! Your welcoming committee is here!”

Tina exited from her cell. “What do you want, you big oaf?”

Boomer slammed Tina against the wall, both hands wrapped around her throat. “What did you do with it? I’m not kidding, I’ll fuckin’ flatten you if you don’t tell me where you’ve hidden it!”

“I... don’t... know what you’re... talking about!” Tina replied, struggling to get the words out.

“Real subtle, Booms,” Ruby quipped.

“Some people can’t be reasoned with, especially when they call me a big oaf.” Boomer laid a punch to Tina’s abdomen, which dropped her to the floor.

“You’re fucking mad, Bam Bam,” Tina winced in pain. “I didn’t take it!”

“What’s going on here?” Linda said, as she entered H4. “No fighting or I’ll slot the lot of you.”

“Nothin’, Miss Miles. Me and Tina are catchin’ up on old times.” Boomer yanked Tina to her feet and slapped her hard on the back. “Right, Tina?”

“I couldn’t care if you’re trading off cupcake recipes,” Linda snapped back. “Get back to your unit for end of day head count.”

“Sure thing, Miss Miles.” Boomer leaned in close to Tina’s ear. “If you know who took it, tell them to give it back or I’ll smash the livin’ shit outta the both of you. Got it?”

“Yeah, sure,” Tina gave her an insincere smirk. “I’ll sell it for the best price I can get – and it won’t be to you either, you fucking looney.”

“Jenkins!” Linda shouted once more. “Don’t fuck with me today!”

“Wow, Smiles is in a foul mood today,” Ruby observed as they headed back to H1.

“Probably got rejected last night like the rest of us.”

“Was it necessary to hit Tina? She’ll be out for blood.”

“Yes, because I needed to punch some tits, and couldn’t hit the others without gettin’ caught.”

“What about Zaina?”

“That doesn’t count, ‘cause it was the ball which broke her nose, not me.”

“But you can’t go around threatening people without giving them a reason.”

“Why not?”

“Because they will see you’re desperate and use it against you.”

“But I am desperate! It’s less than half an hour until lock up and I’m no closer to finding the package or the mole who stole it!”

“You nearly got caught,” Ruby reminded her as they walked into H1. “Do you want to get thrown in the slot?”

“What are you two up to now?” Allie asked, as she sat alone at the table playing Solitaire.

“Nothin’ you can help me with, unless you can perform a fuckin’ miracle,” Boomer mumbled as she sat next to Allie.

“Maybe I already have. Check your room.”

“You fuckin’ beauty!” Boomer shouted moments later. She burst out of her cell holding the precious package with both hands. “You found it!” She dropped the package on the table and picked Allie up, twirling her around on the spot.

“Woah, Boomer! Put me down before I get motion sickness and throw up on you.”

“How did you know Boomer was looking for it?” Ruby asked as Boomer placed Allie down safely.

“Are you kidding?” Allie laughed, her head now spinning. “The whole prison knows!”

“Who was it?” Boomer smacked her right fist into the palm of her hand.

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah, ‘cause they’re gonna cop a five star knuckle sandwich and have their head served up on a silver platter.”

“Let me put it this way – you’ve roughened them up already.”

Boomer reflected upon the amount of people she had threatened that day. “But that’s half of H Block, aye?”

“Then everyone knows not to take your stuff, right?”

“Yeah, right. Listen, I’m gonna go hide it somewhere safe.” Boomer disappeared into her cell, with Ruby following hot on her heels. “What do you want, Ruby?”

“What’s in the package?”

“I can’t say.”

“Really? After all the help I’ve given, the least you can do is show me.”

“Okay, but you gotta promise you won’t tell anyone, not even Allie.” Boomer undid the sticky tape on one end of the brown paper packaging for Ruby to peek inside.

“Ha! That’s deadly! How the hell did you get that through security?” Boomer quickly held a finger up to stop her from talking loudly, but Ruby slapped her hand away. “Seriously, Booms, what’s the big deal?”

“It’s alright for you. You’re in a prison full of horny lesbians, aye?”

“No argument there, although I can see why it wouldn’t be Juice’s idea of a good time.” Ruby laughed out loud. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Boomer waited until Ruby shut the door behind her and removed the item from its wrapping, kissing it several times. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you! Me and you is gonna have some fun tonight!”

“Who are you talking to, Jenkins?”

Boomer hid the item behind her back. “No one, Miss Miles.”

“Hold out your hands.” Linda was left unimpressed when Boomer only held out one hand. “Didn’t I tell you earlier not to fuck with me?”

Boomer reluctantly held out the sealed plastic package with her other hand. “I can explain.”

“Is that... a _vibrator_?”

“I... um... I found it. Yeah, that’s it. That’s what happened, aye? Look, it hasn’t even been opened yet.”

“Do I look like I have a dick swinging between my legs that you can pull?” Linda snapped her fingers. “Hand it over, Jenkins.”

“Aww, bugger! It’s not fair, Miss Miles,” Boomer complained, as she slapped the vibrator into the palm of Linda’s outstretched hand.

“I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Jenkins. I won’t tell anyone about your little misdemeanour on the condition you keep your mouth shut.”

“Can’t I keep it for one night? I promise I’ll hand it over first thing tomorrow mornin’.”

“Any more objections from you and you’ll wind up in the slot on a contraband charge, and I will ban your stinky boyfriend from entering this prison ever again.”

“I swear Daz had nothin’ to do with it.”

“Don’t bullshit the bullshitter, Jenkins.”

Boomer looked to the floor, resigned to the fact that she had no hope of the night ending on a high. “What are you gonna do with it?”

“What do you think? Here, I’ll paint you a picture.” Linda held the vibrator up and read the writing on the back of the package. “ _Indulge yourself with the new OMG! nine inch dildo! Its smooth, silicone waterproof surface with glow-in-the-dark rippled head, offers ten different pulsating speeds guaranteed to get you from Argghhhh, to Ahhhhh within minutes! Now comes with remote control and removable suction cup for your convenience._ ” Linda licked her lips in anticipation, clearly impressed. “That certainly solves my problem of replacing my best friend which died on me last night. Thanks, Jenkins, I know what I’ll be doing tonight!”

**Author's Note:**

> Of all the things which have been brought illegally into Wentworth over the years like booze, drugs, money, mobiles and even sex workers, I’ve often wondered why no one has tried to sneak in a vibrator. This led me to thinking who would be desperate, horny, and stupid enough to sneak a vibrator past security and risk being slotted? Naturally, Boomer ticked all those boxes. It’s just unfortunate she did all the hard work and Linda reaped the rewards!


End file.
